Nelly and Patrick had it all at their fingertips.
Waoh! It was just a romantic relationship but every meeting left sparkles in their eyes. Shade couldn’t wait to be married to her “Mr. Perfect”. “He is meant for me” she thought.
Weeks and months passed in the marriage and it was like she had been seeing a movie for years. “This is reality, oh my God” She cried. They got it all wrong with little understanding of what it meant to be married. Wait, what was the picture in their mind? I guess it was Romeo and Juliet fantasy…..all romantic!
There is a picture God wants us to envision about marriage, it is called the PERFECT PICTURE.
Let’s consider the key terms.
Of course you will agree with me that the word ‘perfect’ means to be faultless or without mistake.
Picture on the other hand means an image or a representation of an image.
In our world, there are many pictures of how an ideal relationship should look like but all we have are counterfeits as no one knows the purpose of a thing more than the creator itself.
Therefore, the perfect picture is God’s picture. What then is God’s picture? Of course at creation, after creating man and animals, God knew that none of the animals were befitting to become the helpmate so God created woman.
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Gen 2: 20-22. Therefore, God’s picture is a godly man plus a godly woman, compatible in all areas and united by purpose (vision). However, the ideal Picture will wear out if certain covenant ingredients are not added to preserve it.
Let’s examine these few ingredients that make up the perfect picture.
1. Be rooted in God. If the two people involved are not rooted in God then they are not rooted in love. How else do you expect an unbeliever to express love? It is not in His DNA. He or she doesn’t have the capacity to show love. ( I John 4:16-17). Love here goes beyond the feeling. It is in the action. Read I Corinthians 13 for more attributes of love.
2. Understanding of Roles: This is when things start getting all tough because God’s people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Knowledge is key to maintaining the perfect picture. Also wisdom (God’s word) is profitable to direct and in all you’re getting, get understanding. Know your role as a man or woman. It is shameful when spouses are starved of joy and marital bliss due to their ignorance. It is high time we hearkened to this: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Eph 5:23-25). This is very clear. If this is followed, there will be fewer records of divorce and broken homes. Whenever any wedding takes place, God is looking forward to see the perfect picture. Don’t wait till you are choked with wedding plans. Sit now and find out so that you will enjoy heavenly bliss. My brothers! Sit down and find out your role. Show her love unconditionally; literally, it means with no condition. You think it is easy? It will take someone who has seen beyond the letters to really love in that manner sisters, it is more than kneeling down whenever you want to greet him. It will take revelation coupled with grace to submit. I have been reading some Christian fictions recently and my eyes have been opened to see how Christian homes fall like packs of cards. Beware!
It is also important to build your altar of fellowship. Nothing should replace it! Fellowship together and not differently!
3. Communication: This one is key. Let there be free flow of communication without anyone being scared of being judged. When distance creeps in, the devil takes advantage. Speak to one another, communicate your desires, needs, affection, complains, and fears to one another. Silence is a silent killer. When one spouse is not speaking, watch it, someone is dying. Many marriages have sunk because the spouses were more intimate during their courtship days and have reduced communication in marriage. God’s love is everlasting; without end. Ever new everyday so how come courtship has become the communication stopping point? Whereas it is written that, the path of the just shines brighter and brighter till the perfect day and that also includes your marriage. So my brothers and sisters, please be sensitive! Don’t use spirituality as an excuse when your spouse is starving and dying in silence. Communicate often!
4. Be a forgiver: No sin is beyond forgiveness. We learn and grow daily. Create room for offences and forgive. However, change as you are forgiven.
5. Sex: This is my favourite part! It is God’s gift in marriage. It is a lubricant, tension reliever, it makes the heart warm. Enjoy it, explore it however don’t be selfish. Some years ago in school while I was preparing for Sunday school on marriage, God told me that procuring a suitable land for cultivation is not a guarantee for a bumper harvest. You will need to till, plough, plant, water, weed, weed and weed again before you harvest. There are many suitable lands but only few people are taking responsibility to cultivate. Praise God! He gave you the bone of your bone (suitable land) but until you till the land, cultivate and water it you will not enjoy bumper harvest.
I am excited that you are reading this. Many are labouring and wasting with the wrong picture but you are receiving grace to create heaven on earth in your marriage. God bless you!
Please pray this prayer:
Father, reveal to me beyond this write-up what the perfect picture means.
Written by: OKWO CHARITY SANDRA