21 DAYS TO MY WEDDING

Can anything be more heartbreaking than picturing your wedding day all the time yet no boyfriend?


I had long pictured my big day. I do not know if there was any lady who fantasized about her big day as I did. I did not leave any stone unturned. I pictured the white beautiful flowing ballgown on my slim body. I would even imagine my friends Toke and Vicky helping me to wear the gown.


I had made up my mind to keep the beautiful smile all through my wedding. “No one must get on your nerves Dee. You must be happy.” I would repeatedly tell myself.
Oh! The dance steps. I danced alone in my room to ensure I was in trend with all the dance steps needed for my big day.
I had also pictured my friends and family coming from far and near to celebrate their beautiful daughter, sister and friend, Dee who has made them proud by settling down in marriage rather than dishonouring God with her body.


One time during my fantasy moments, I had remembered the story of one of my senior cousins, Aunty Kike. She got pregnant out of wedlock at 18. She was just in 100 level in the University then. Unfortunately, her boyfriend who impregnated her was still a Jambite who had not even got admission into the University.
My Aunts made us believe the world had ended for Kike because she was pregnant at 18. They did not only insult and disgrace her, but they also rained curses on her mother too. They blamed her for raising a wayward child who had brought such disgrace to the entire family.

Thank God Kike met Christ in the process. She kept the pregnancy and apologized to her parents for bringing such shame on them. She also promised to rewrite the story with the help of God. She actually did. She obtained her PhD from Ethiad University where she met an American Christian who followed her to Nigeria with his family for their beautiful wedding. She is blessed with two lovely kids now.


It is true that you can either remain in your mess or make a message out of it. The choice is yours!


Although I was just 14 years then and just in SS1, my mother would always tell me that the day I get pregnant out of wedlock, everything about my future was destroyed. Somehow I believed it and did not have a boyfriend like my other classmates throughout secondary school and even University.
My wedding fantasies had lasted for about 14 years, yet no man in view not to talk of a wedding to plan. But now, it is 21 days to my wedding!

                           ***********

Can anything be more heartbreaking than picturing your wedding day all the time yet no boyfriend?
I would cry on several nights. I attended seminars as if I was going to become a relationship coach.


Who said I did not pray?? I joined every group I knew that was organizing prayers for singles. I went to the mountain every Saturday to the point that the Pastors there already knew me and no one goes close to my prayer spot.
I had read several books on relationship and marriage; both foreign and local authors. I felt prepared all the time yet I could not play out my wedding fantasies alone. I needed a hero for my storyline. Since the Bible says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord, I knew it was not my duty to find the hero. The hero should find me.

I did not want my dream of having a beautiful wedding to die unfulfilled but I did not know what else to do.


One day, I was listening to a message by Apostle Joshua Selman when he mentioned that sometimes our blessings are tied to our little acts of obedience to God’s promptings. That was the punch line for me. I did not even remember every other thing he said in the message. That word struck me and I knew God just spoke to me. I went before God and asked for mercy. I wept all night seeking for forgiveness for neglecting God’s promptings all the while. I had been too carried away looking for a hero that I neglected God’s leadings.


For a very long time, the Lord had laid it in my heart to serve with my pastor’s wife but I ignored. I wanted a unit where the godly brothers will observe the beautiful me. However, I loved my pastor’s wife and secretly admired her. Her smile alone on the altar restored hope to my heart and many others. Her humility was out of this world. She minded her business and made herself available to as many as are possible. Pastor Mrs. Esther Joseph was modest in her dressing but was fashion inclined and beautiful.


After praying for mercy that night, I prayed to God about going to serve as her Personal Assistance and I had total peace about it. Fortunately, it was a Saturday night and the following day was Sunday. I patiently waited to see her after the service. My active participation in the drama unit of the church made her know me.

“Sister Dee, hope all is well?” was her first question when I walked into her office that afternoon looking all tensed.

“Good afternoon ma. I am fine ma.”, I managed to reply as she offered me a seat.


It took God’s grace but I finally summoned courage to explain that I was led to serve as her Personal Assistance. She smiled back at me and simply told me to see her the following Sunday when she would have discussed with her husband and sought God’s face.


Three months after I resumed as her personal assistance, it felt like I had been missing this breeze of fresh air all my life. I no longer had time to think about any hero coming to play my wedding script. Although the beautiful picture of my wedding day was still intact, my mind got busy with other beautiful thoughts.


Pastor Mrs. Esther’s office was next to the ICT office of the church and it just gradually became my next stop before going home. The department was headed by her younger brother, Joshua. Joshua gradually became my friend. His company has a way of making my day after the service. We usually had common things to talk about. In fact, we had a similar point of view to almost everything.
I never observed how handsome Joshua was until it was his 30th birthday and he was dressed in a smart lovely blue jacket and trouser, nice brown shoe with a brown belt and a brown wristwatch. For the first time, I could not take my eyes off him. To crown it all, his hair and beards were neatly carved.


That day, I discovered I had always fantasized about my wedding day but I had not really painted the physical look I wanted for the man. Even if it was not going to be Joshua, I loved what I saw that day and knew that was my spec.
I felt bad that I did not get him a birthday gift. But I promised to sing a song to him over the phone when I get home. Then, there was a hurdle. He had been my church friend for a while but I never had his phone number. I instantly felt like I would be too forward if I asked for his number myself but I could not think of any better option to get it. I quickly summoned courage, swallowed my pride and asked for his phone number.


The rest they say is history. I called that night to sing a happy birthday song to him but we ended up talking for about one hour. We talked as if we had been friends for years. After the call, I felt butterflies dancing in my tummy but I consciously didn’t want to allow them to live. What if he only enjoyed my company? But no, I was right.
Joshua had always observed me during drama presentations but was looking for the right avenue to meet and know me. He didn’t delay after we spoke over the phone that night. He called consistently afterward until three weeks later when he confessed his love to me.


We both sought the face of God and consulted our spiritual leaders afterward. It has been 14 months after we officially started the journey of love and it has been very beautiful. Today, it is exactly 21 DAYS TO MY WEDDING and I cannot but say thank you Jesus!


Is God still answering prayers? Yes!

The Bible says in Isaiah 40:31, But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
Whatever it is you are waiting upon the Lord for, God is capable to settle you. Just hold unto Him and obey His instructions diligently!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters and events are the products of my imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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