There are different reasons why some ladies are still single even when they are of marriageable age. Below, I will be sharing few tips that can help you as a Christian single lady who is interested in having a godly home soon. The lists are endless. However, these are few basics that can help you a long way.
LOVE AND FEAR GOD
This is one of the major secrets of getting a God’s kind of man. God only gives His sons His daughters; ladies after His heart. Your poor relationship with the Father can be the reason for your marital delay. You can sincerely answer the following questions: Can God trust you with His son? Won’t you lead him away from God? Will you help his spiritual life or put it off? Be genuine in your service to God. The Bible says He is a rewarder of them who diligently seek Him. He will give you a godly man at His own time but you need to sincerely and genuinely play your role in the relationship first. Don’t be a serious prayerful Christian only when they are leading prayers for husband. No! It doesn’t work that way. Serve and love God! He sees you! He knows you! He can’t be deceived.
Don’t keep praying for a man when you are not ready for a man. Do you think anyone will give a car to a boy of 5 years to start driving around? As good as the gift of a car is, the gift will kill him because he is not yet matured enough to manage a car.
If you don’t build yourself, you will mismanage the man when he comes and you may lose him in the process. (That is worse because you will be heartbroken.) So, it is possible God has not given you one of His sons because He wants you to grow into maturity. Build yourself first! Build capacity spiritually, morally, psychologically, financially…. Just keep building yourself!
HOW TO BUILD YOURSELF
- Read: If you do not read, you cannot lead. Don’t just read books, study the Bible to know the biblical principles of marriage and how to build a good home. The Bible says study to show thyself approved. Learn from the experiences of others. Increase your scope of knowledge. The Bible also says my people perish for lack of knowledge. Never fall victim! Acquire knowledge!
- Learn morals: You should learn morals too. Learn simple courtesies like; how to behave in public, how to relate with people, how to treat guests…etc. Be kind and friendly to people. Happily show love to people too. If you can’t manage your relationships with colleagues at work and family at home. How do you want to manage a husband and in-laws? Work on your temper. Don’t be rude to people. Who knows if the man has withdrawn because of your rude manners? Stop frowning at everyone. That is not welcoming. It can send a man away. Smile always, it makes you more beautiful and approachable.
- Work: Don’t be idle please. Guys no longer want to marry a woman who is a burden but one who will add value. You have been idle for years saying you are trusting God for a husband. Who knows if the guy has withdrawn because of your idleness? Do something useful with yourself. Get a job or start a business. You may meet your Mr. Right at your place of work. Rebecca, the wife of Isaac was found at her duty post. Please stop mourning your singlehood and get busy!
- Learn how to cook: Those times you spend giving unnecessary attention to every guy who comes around you can be positively invested in learning how to cook. Learn how to cook sisters. How many local dishes can you make? How many snacks or drinks can you make? All of these are necessary to keep your home. It is true that men like good food. Be a good cook.
Just keep building yourself. God is seeing your readiness and He will give you one of His sons soonest.
Decency here points at our manner of dressing generally as a lady. You should be good looking. Remember that guys are attracted by what they see. Dress well and decently. Put on fitted neat beautiful dresses. Stop walking around with oversized faded dirty dresses. Mr. Right will not jump down from heaven to ask you out in those dirty dresses. Even if you have just two dresses, wash and iron them well and proudly walk around in them.
Make your hair and look fine. Use a good cream that will not bleach your body and smell nice. No man wants to settle for a dirty woman with dirty nails. You can also reduce the oil on your face with fifty naira oil control powder. Be decent!
Stop walking around with skimpy dresses that are exposing your personal properties. A godly brother will not ask for your hand in marriage that way. Also, stop tying scarfs and wrappers around as if you are married and have given birth to five children. Be physically smart!
Love your neighbours as yourself says the Bible. Love is very essential in every kind of relationship. Don’t send people away with your unloving attitudes. You don’t know who God has placed around you to connect you with Mr. Right. Relate well with people.
Some ladies have sent their Mr. Rights away with their insensitivity. As a woman, your spiritual antenna must always be on. Be connected to the Holyspirit 24/7. Your sensitivity will hint you when a good godly man is around. You will compose yourself better and be kind to him. Don’t be quick to ignore the friendship of a good man. Calm down and listen to the voice of the Spirit.
DEFINE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS
All friendships need a definition especially the ones with the opposite sex. Don’t be too close to a brother who is not saying anything like he wants to marry you. The danger is that you may unknowingly send possible suitors away. Question every guy around you who calls you every moment, uses your picture as his profile picture, uploads your picture every minute, goes everywhere with you and is not giving any genuine reason for the closeness. Please ask him, BROTHER, WHATSUPP? WHERE ARE WE GOING? Don’t allow any guy to have a platonic relationship with you. Be real and be intentional about your friendships. If he is not going your way, please let him reduce his proximity so that other brothers can see and approach you. Don’t stay with time wasters!
The truth is there is no help elsewhere. Only God can give you His kind of man and He will do it. Don’t compromise your faith to settle for an unbeliever. It is better to marry late and marry right than to settle for a man you will regret for the rest of your life. Just keep trusting God! Ignore the pressure from people and look unto God the author and finisher of your faith. Remember the Bible says those who trust in the Lord will never be put to shame. People would have thought it was over for Ruth but when God says it is not over, what people say does not matter.
It is not over! Your own Boaz, a man after God’s heart who will love you genuinely shall locate you in Jesus name!
A woman who cannot pray will be a prey not just to the devil but even men. Sisters, if you have not cultivated the habit of praying, please start now! It is only through prayer that you communicate your requests with God. He says, ask and it shall be given unto you. I pray the grace for prayer rests upon you today in Jesus name!
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